Resume.

Gwen said i should post it. :) And therefore. I shall. Lol.


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Sanjay Hajimoko Ramachandran Samivalu Putria Prrrrratap
66, Jalan SJ 33,
Taman Enam Tiga,
36633, Kuala Kangsar,
Perak.

___________________________________________

Mr. U. R. Fayerd
Principal of Tadika Kindergarten
Lot 66, Jalan Tiga,
Nambersix Garden,
63366, Pantai Harapan,
Terengganu. 3 JUNE 1999


Dear Sir,

Re : Application to Apply for Part-Time Kindergarten Teacher and Counsellor.

Regarding to the above title, I hope to get a part-time job as a teacher and since I adore children (also known as kids), I hope to be a part-time kindergarten teacher. I am writing in response to your advertisement in http://www.idesperatelyneedmoneyfast.com/ on 1st June 1999. I believe that I am capable and suitable for the job since I love children and kids, which are the same thing. I will explain why you should hire me.

2. I don't mean to brag, but I am perfect for the job. Being the eldest in my family and having to share my room with 15 more siblings (yes, 15) since young I have been trained up to be tolerant and to have leadership qualities. I guess those qualities come with the package of 15 screaming babies. I also have a unique sense of humour. Have I ever mentioned you have nice hair? Tho I've never really seen you before, but yea. You get my point.

3. I am a very friendly person. I make friends easily regardless of age. I am sure the kids (also known as children) in your kindergarten would appreciate and extra friend. I am also a very interested person, as you can see from my name. I was brought up in a very....unique family, also, as you can see in my name.

4. I am very skillful. I can pronounce my name backwards, spell my name backwards and also, break my elbow and attach it back (cool huh?!). and it only took me 3 years and several major surgeries to enable myself to do so. I enjoy entertaining and teaching children, not to mention patient enough to hear their problems out for example, a serious situation such as being abused by parents or in other minor cases, losing their Superman eraser, making an "oopsie" in their pants and also the most frequently heard, "He called me fat!" tho I have no interest in solving them. Attached is my resume and certificates that might come in handy.

Thank you and I do look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully,
Sanjay Hajimoko Ramachandran Samivalu Putria Prrrrratap
(SANJAY HAJIMOKO RAMACHANDRAN SAMIVALU PUTRIA PRRRRRATAP)


___________________________________________________

Sanjay Hajimoko Ramachandran Samivalu Putria Prrrrratap

Residential address : 66, Jalan SJ 33,
Taman Enam Tiga,
36633, Kuala Kangsar,
Perak.
Race : Japanese-Indian with a dash of Hawaiian, Japanese, Chinese, Portuguese
Gender : Male - Or at least, since last checked.
Telephone number : 03-63663333 (residence)
Handphone number: 013-3636363
Email address : obsessedwithnumbers3n6@yahoo.com
Date of birth : 6th March 1963
Age : 36 (my favourite year)
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CAREER OBJECTIVES

Long term

• To increase my experience in teaching field as well as counselling.



• To learn baby talk.



• To use my knowledge and help children (eg. Never borrow money from a loan shark when you grow up - personal experience)
  
  

Short term

• To earn enough money to pay my debts
  
  

_________________________________________
EDUCATION

- I can't remember -

Primary level

January 1979 - November 1983

• SJK (C) Fei Chai
  UPSR - 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, 1F (ABCDEF :D)
  

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Languages

• English - Fluent in written and spoken mediums


• Mandarin and Cantonese - Fluent in written and spoken medium


• Japanese - Fluent in spoken medium


• Tamil - Fluent in spoken medium


• Hokkien and Hainanese - Basic skills in spoken medium


• Korean, Hawaiian, Hakka, Arab - Can count from 1 to 10

__________________________________________
ACHIEVEMENTS

So far... Nothing. I DID manage to juggle 3 grapefruits yesterday tho for 2 times.

__________________________________________
PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

Lazy but extremely honest

Although I am lazy, but I am extremely honest which is why you should hire me. In fact, I owe the loan sharks RM10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 and I have no idea how to pay them back. Honestly, I can care less.

Unreliable but optimistic

Altho I promised to pay RM10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 back before next week, I crossed my fingers. But, who cares right? I have free pork heads (no offence to the Muslims k? (: ) to eat everyday since I've borrowed such a great amount of money to gamble. They always hang it outside my house everyday at 8.00am sharp when they find that I'm not at home. Those idiots do not know I'm hiding under my bed.

Cool and special

I have chosen your kindergarten due to your address. I am a very cool and special person. I have a cool nose ring for the kids to play with. Also, I can touch my nose with my tongue. I am sure the children will like me

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LEISURE / INTERESTS

Women.

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THE END!

Over and out :D